Friday, July 07, 2006
thot that it would be good to share muy inner thots...it wasn't impulse..yet a sudden and drivin force that urges mi to reply..to patch eberythg up again...after sho long did i realise wat i reali reali and had always wanted but was kinda of swept under the carpets initially....a few times bak was i in and out of relationships..but the most "funniest" one..ish the current one that i'm in...many ppl asked mi how we get together..and boy was i delightful to share and eben joked abt it last time..but not anymore now..now den i realised..i was super naive den..and i dunch find it funny anymore...instead i feel sho embarassed jus to share..why..?as time past..i realised muy the other half was not serious abt mi in the first place..perhaps i was his matchmaker den and thgs didn't quite went well for him and muy fren..den he came to approached mi..but if ur not willingly to pump in ur 100% effort in mi why pick mi stilli..dis jus implies that u were not eben sure of how u felt abt mi...hai..dis reali kinda of shocked mi abit..due to certain personal reasons..there wasn't a proper courtship at all..and we got together tt EASY...dis of which i reali hai..eben the first movie tix..i was the one to fork out..but when he's tryin to chase muy fren..he eben offered to blanjah...for free summore...mi leh..hai..wat m i?seriously..that was muy FIRST TIME treatin sumone to movie..and it got to be a wat..first date?! hai~~to mi..in muy prev. relationships..the guys wld try ways and means to get touched muy heart and asked for it..i didn't accept dem as readily as i did for dis time..and i seriously do hab regrets at times..to jus sho foolish accept sumone hu wasn't eben sure he's affirmitive of us or eben mi..but oh wells..wat can i do now....LOVE ish sho blind..den can't blami mi for feelin sho insecure rite now...many ppl hab deir shortcomins too..but certain thgs to mi are pretty unacceptable..whereas for u might be diff..it all depends on our views..muy current guy used to flirt wif gers like nth..kinda of casanova..yucks..dis kinda of ppl SUXs..reali..i didn't noe..til he eben DAREd to show mi pics of him taken wif other gers..to mi if grp foto nvm..but individuals ones..jus him and other ders..hands over shoulders stil..dere's more at hm but didn't hab the chance to show mi..thank God he didn't. if not the memory wld last til now..i mean tt time i didn't voice out cuz i tot to him it's nth..but to mi..i regretted. i wldn't eben choose such a guy in the first place..but den again i was NAIVE den..perhaps too gaga over him..hai..many thgs were slowly unravelled..as i learnt more stuff along the way...despite almost to a year together..i'm stil habin tt sense of regrets dere..esp when i gib ppl chance to tell the truth..dunch wanna admit til i go find out muyself..hai..den i feel sho sian 3/4..but dere are good sides to this relationship too..other den parents aside please..i came to noe God..a whole new world to mi..many a times i tried to break from dis r/s..cuz i find that it's too taxin on us and tt partially i rather not be wif dis type of guy anymore..but God always salvages..He brings hopes to mi..esp in bringin ppl of the same faith closer and nearer to mi like muy frens..and i'm reali thankful for in a way i'm reassured of His power and love..i'm glad we're learnin together and slowly changin for our betta future..i appreciate ur efforts..Thanks for changin to become a betta man for mi dear..it's pretty long entry but guess i'll jus stop here..the rest i'm sure i've alr told u le..u've shown mi ur true heart todae...dere's absolutely no reasons why that i shld eber let us go again..As promised..we'll start things afresh..anew..gib mi those feelins that reali show how u adore mi..make mi feel special in ur life..wil u?let's not repeat the mistakes in the beginnin anymore...GOD's movin..Kip His praises loud and heard..cheers.
o0..happy together..0o
7/07/2006 07:44:00 PM
